Today we had our 3rd consultation. I was starting to lose hope and assumed my search for a doctor would continue. Although I liked the previous 2 doctors I left the office feeling very negative. After meeting with dr. #1 I felt guilty, as if I had done something to cause the tubal damage. He focused a lot on the cause of the infertility. Dr. #2 was nice, funny, and friendly but he scared me when he focused on the possibility that I might need a surrogate if I had new uterine adhesions.

So as a result of this, I was expecting to find a problem with dr # 3. This morning I was scared and pessimistic. Dr. #3 turned out to have the qualities I had been looking for. She thoroughly reviewed all of my material and patiently answered my MANY questions. It's hard to explain but I got good vibes from her and fortunately so did Ivan. After meeting with her we nodded to each other gesturing YES, we found a doctor.

We did routine bloodwork and when my new cycle begins I will start the preliminary tests before the IVF cycle which will hopefully be late June or early July.

When we left the clinic I told Ivan "we can breathe". I felt positive, which is strange since I have had negative feelings about doing IVF. In the last couple of days I have been trying to come to terms with accepting that IVF is my only option. I've been going through my own mourning. I have to mourn the part of me that is unable to conceive naturally. Growing up we naively assume that all we have to do is figure out when we can have a baby and it will happen. As we all know that is not always the case. It has been hard for me to accept that I will need "assistance" in order to conceive.

I like to think of life as a book and every experience is a new chapter. So I am starting to close the "why can't I conceive, why me" chapter and begin "I'm TTC with IVF" chapter. I know my journey will continue but I feel I am closer to getting my miracle baby.

When Nature Is Not Enough
IVF will hopefully bring us the miracle we are waiting for.
About Me Name: Liz Location: New York I'm 37 and have been happily married since Sept. 2002. Ivan is truly my companion in life. Our TTC journey has felt like a never ending roller coaster ride. We had an ectopic PG in Dec. 04 and in April 05 found out my IF is due to tubal abnormality. We were told IVF was our only hope. July 05 we did IVF # 1 and it was a chemical PG. We did IVF # 2 in Oct. 05 and it was a BFN. In Jan. 06 we did a combined fresh and frozen embryo transfer and it was a BFN. We were determined not to give up our dream of having a baby. IVF # 4 was in April 06. The cycle worked like a charm and on December 20, 2006 we were blessed with Hannah and Matthew. View my complete profile	Wednesday, May 18, 2005 Moving Forward Today we had our 3rd consultation. I was starting to lose hope and assumed my search for a doctor would continue. Although I liked the previous 2 doctors I left the office feeling very negative. After meeting with dr. #1 I felt guilty, as if I had done something to cause the tubal damage. He focused a lot on the cause of the infertility. Dr. #2 was nice, funny, and friendly but he scared me when he focused on the possibility that I might need a surrogate if I had new uterine adhesions. So as a result of this, I was expecting to find a problem with dr # 3. This morning I was scared and pessimistic. Dr. #3 turned out to have the qualities I had been looking for. She thoroughly reviewed all of my material and patiently answered my MANY questions. It's hard to explain but I got good vibes from her and fortunately so did Ivan. After meeting with her we nodded to each other gesturing YES, we found a doctor. We did routine bloodwork and when my new cycle begins I will start the preliminary tests before the IVF cycle which will hopefully be late June or early July. When we left the clinic I told Ivan "we can breathe". I felt positive, which is strange since I have had negative feelings about doing IVF. In the last couple of days I have been trying to come to terms with accepting that IVF is my only option. I've been going through my own mourning. I have to mourn the part of me that is unable to conceive naturally. Growing up we naively assume that all we have to do is figure out when we can have a baby and it will happen. As we all know that is not always the case. It has been hard for me to accept that I will need "assistance" in order to conceive. I like to think of life as a book and every experience is a new chapter. So I am starting to close the "why can't I conceive, why me" chapter and begin "I'm TTC with IVF" chapter. I know my journey will continue but I feel I am closer to getting my miracle baby. \| posted by Liz at 5:58 PM \| 3 Comments: Anonymous commented at 9:25 PM~ I'm glad everything worked out yesterday and you have your doctor. I'm very glad that you are feeling more positive. I know it's been hard and YES you have every right and reason to mourn. Ally commented at 8:25 AM~ Liz, I'm glad you finally found a doctor to give you your dream. It's so important to find the "right" person... And you're right about chapters....hopefully this chapter will bring you closer to the end of the book. Jenn commented at 7:42 AM~ Isn't it amazing how we were warned that "it just takes one time"??? My mom had 7 kids - so my inability to have a 2nd amazes me constantly! I am very glad you found a doctor that you are comfortable with - that is so important! Good luck to you! Want to Post a Comment? back to main page
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