I was talking to an old friend today and the "talk" was very upsetting. I don't know why I still get surprised with people's insensitivity. I know at times it is not intentional but their "supportive comments and advice" is more like assvice.

She asked how things were going and quickly stated "well don't be so worried because we live in a very technological age" and went on and on about IVF. Anyway I just felt... and I know I'm right for feeling this way... that she is minimizing my experience. Like so many other people she assumes that when someone cannot have a child on their own they should not complain and just do IVF. We should be lucky that we have the opportunity to do that.

Yes, I'm grateful to live in a time where that is a possibility but I'm angry that I will never be able to conceive a child on my own. No, it won't be a romantic evening with my husband. It will consist of a procedure to retrieve the egg (not romantic) and then Ivan will leave a sample. No, it won't be a sexy rendezvous it will be "hurry up the clocks ticking, they have to fertilize the eggs, what's taking so long". Then there is the sperm washing and fertilization process and 3-5 days later the eggs are transferred to the uterus.

I can't quite put to words how I feel...maybe a part of me doesn't want to. It really is hard and the closer I get to the possibility of IVF the angrier I get at my body. Hey, I have to blame something. I have severe tubal damage and nothing can be done to fix it. If I had to choose a word to describe how I feel it would have to be "broken".

I'm not happy that I have to do IVF, I don't think I ever will be.

When Nature Is Not Enough
IVF will hopefully bring us the miracle we are waiting for.
About Me Name: Liz Location: New York I'm 37 and have been happily married since Sept. 2002. Ivan is truly my companion in life. Our TTC journey has felt like a never ending roller coaster ride. We had an ectopic PG in Dec. 04 and in April 05 found out my IF is due to tubal abnormality. We were told IVF was our only hope. July 05 we did IVF # 1 and it was a chemical PG. We did IVF # 2 in Oct. 05 and it was a BFN. In Jan. 06 we did a combined fresh and frozen embryo transfer and it was a BFN. We were determined not to give up our dream of having a baby. IVF # 4 was in April 06. The cycle worked like a charm and on December 20, 2006 we were blessed with Hannah and Matthew. View my complete profile	Thursday, May 05, 2005 When Comforting Words Are Not So Comforting I was talking to an old friend today and the "talk" was very upsetting. I don't know why I still get surprised with people's insensitivity. I know at times it is not intentional but their "supportive comments and advice" is more like assvice. She asked how things were going and quickly stated "well don't be so worried because we live in a very technological age" and went on and on about IVF. Anyway I just felt... and I know I'm right for feeling this way... that she is minimizing my experience. Like so many other people she assumes that when someone cannot have a child on their own they should not complain and just do IVF. We should be lucky that we have the opportunity to do that. Yes, I'm grateful to live in a time where that is a possibility but I'm angry that I will never be able to conceive a child on my own. No, it won't be a romantic evening with my husband. It will consist of a procedure to retrieve the egg (not romantic) and then Ivan will leave a sample. No, it won't be a sexy rendezvous it will be "hurry up the clocks ticking, they have to fertilize the eggs, what's taking so long". Then there is the sperm washing and fertilization process and 3-5 days later the eggs are transferred to the uterus. I can't quite put to words how I feel...maybe a part of me doesn't want to. It really is hard and the closer I get to the possibility of IVF the angrier I get at my body. Hey, I have to blame something. I have severe tubal damage and nothing can be done to fix it. If I had to choose a word to describe how I feel it would have to be "broken". I'm not happy that I have to do IVF, I don't think I ever will be. \| posted by Liz at 8:17 PM \| back to main page
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