Going on...
Day 3 of hopelessness and sadness. It took so much for me to get out of bed this morning. I think I did it more for Ivan so he would think I’m okay. I see the pain when he looks at me and knows I’m not well. As much as I don’t like how I feel I know I have to go through this. It’s the only way to process and "go on".
Although at times I don’t feel like going on because I just feel there will be other disappointments I know I have to. If I don’t try, if I give up that will be worse. So I will "pick myself up" and begin another day. Another day of hoping, wanting and dreaming. I know it won't be easy but will believe that in the end it will be worth it. Thank you so much for your support. It's great to have people who understand.
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commented at 5:45 PM~
I know it's hard but I'm glad you are not giving up. Don't give up on your dream!!
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Jenn commented at 5:47 PM~
I am so sorry you are having such a hard time Liz. I wish there was something I could say.
I know hope and faith are a hard thing to hold on to at a time like this. Please know that I am thinking of you.
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C commented at 6:51 PM~
Sending you some big hugs Liz.
I know things are really tough for you right now and I wish I could take some of your pain.
Thinking of you and Don't give up!!
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Ally commented at 9:01 PM~
Liz,
I hope the days will soon get better and better for you. Keep the faith that God will give you added strength. I wish there was something I could do to help you.
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Mrs. D. commented at 9:08 AM~
Hang in there Liz... I am so so sorry that you are going through this pain. After my second miscarriage I read a book that helped me tremendously called MISCARRIAGE: WOMEN SPEAKING FROM THE HEART. It talks about the sadness and hopelessness women feel even at the end of a very short pregnancy. It is not really a "Why did this happen" book... it is more a survey of women and their feelings on losing their babies before 20 weeks. It really let me know that I was not alone and that the feelings I had were very normal.
I am here for you if you need to talk.
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Jenna commented at 10:24 AM~
Liz,
I know how you feel about not wanting to go on. I know how hard it can be to get out of the bed and you are right the only way to get through it is to go on.
I am sorry that it has been so much harder on you because Ivan is taking it so bad. I really hope that he is able to deal with it in his own way too. I know how hard it can be to struggle with faith it times like this. I hope and pray that he gets the answers he is looking for. You arei in my thoughts as always and I hope that each day it gets a little easier.
Hugs,
Jenna
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Sporty commented at 12:18 PM~
I'm sorry that you are going through this Liz. Just try to hang in there and do the best that you can.
I pray for you and your husband. Wish there was something more that I could do for both of you.
Take care.
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Ougrad commented at 12:45 PM~
Liz,
I'm friends with Allie (alliebubba) and I've been keeping up on your blog, too. I hope you know we're all thinking about you and wish you the best.
Alissa
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Heather P. commented at 2:41 PM~
Liz,
I wish there was something I could say or do to make you feel better. Having gone thru this 2x I know that there isn't much to be said.
Starting over and TTC again. It is the most difficult thing in the world that I have ever faced. Not giving up is just as difficult.
I do think of you and IVan all the time and I pray that you are able to not have to try to just get up. That you soon will want to do this again.
Lots of love
Heather
