About Me

Name: Liz

Location: New York

I'm 37 and have been happily married since Sept. 2002. Ivan is truly my companion in life. Our TTC journey has felt like a never ending roller coaster ride. We had an ectopic PG in Dec. 04 and in April 05 found out my IF is due to tubal abnormality. We were told IVF was our only hope. July 05 we did IVF # 1 and it was a chemical PG. We did IVF # 2 in Oct. 05 and it was a BFN. In Jan. 06 we did a combined fresh and frozen embryo transfer and it was a BFN. We were determined not to give up our dream of having a baby. IVF # 4 was in April 06. The cycle worked like a charm and on December 20, 2006 we were blessed with Hannah and Matthew.

I started reading a book Water from the Rock…Finding God’s comfort in the midst of Infertility and they eloquently describe infertility as a painful, raging storm. It is a dream crushed and a loss that must be grieved. I know I’ve been grieving but my grief has turned into anger. Anger that I can’t have a baby. Anger that I have to do IVF. Anger that no matter what I do there are no guarantees.

I found out today that one of my close friends had her baby yesterday. It felt good to feel happy for her. After I hung up I went for a walk and then it registered …someone else has a baby. She was one of those who got PG the first time…lucky her…unlucky me. I’m tired of being upset about all this. I’m sad that I initially avoided seeing her. The thought of seeing her PG was too much. She represents what I want most and cannot have.

On Thursday we meet with the RE and I’m hoping she will tell us we can start again in 2 weeks. Emotionally I can’t handle waiting another month. What has been helping me go on is the prospect of starting in 2 weeks. I’m sad for Ivan. I hate how he is feeling. I’m sad that he is losing what little faith he had. This is such a frustrating process. I feel lonely, angry, so angry. I’m trying to be hopeful but it’s so hard…. infertility sucks and it hurts so much.

When Nature Is Not Enough
IVF will hopefully bring us the miracle we are waiting for.
About Me Name: Liz Location: New York I'm 37 and have been happily married since Sept. 2002. Ivan is truly my companion in life. Our TTC journey has felt like a never ending roller coaster ride. We had an ectopic PG in Dec. 04 and in April 05 found out my IF is due to tubal abnormality. We were told IVF was our only hope. July 05 we did IVF # 1 and it was a chemical PG. We did IVF # 2 in Oct. 05 and it was a BFN. In Jan. 06 we did a combined fresh and frozen embryo transfer and it was a BFN. We were determined not to give up our dream of having a baby. IVF # 4 was in April 06. The cycle worked like a charm and on December 20, 2006 we were blessed with Hannah and Matthew. View my complete profile	Tuesday, September 06, 2005 Infertility hurts I started reading a book Water from the Rock…Finding God’s comfort in the midst of Infertility and they eloquently describe infertility as a painful, raging storm. It is a dream crushed and a loss that must be grieved. I know I’ve been grieving but my grief has turned into anger. Anger that I can’t have a baby. Anger that I have to do IVF. Anger that no matter what I do there are no guarantees. I found out today that one of my close friends had her baby yesterday. It felt good to feel happy for her. After I hung up I went for a walk and then it registered …someone else has a baby. She was one of those who got PG the first time…lucky her…unlucky me. I’m tired of being upset about all this. I’m sad that I initially avoided seeing her. The thought of seeing her PG was too much. She represents what I want most and cannot have. On Thursday we meet with the RE and I’m hoping she will tell us we can start again in 2 weeks. Emotionally I can’t handle waiting another month. What has been helping me go on is the prospect of starting in 2 weeks. I’m sad for Ivan. I hate how he is feeling. I’m sad that he is losing what little faith he had. This is such a frustrating process. I feel lonely, angry, so angry. I’m trying to be hopeful but it’s so hard…. infertility sucks and it hurts so much. \| posted by Liz at 2:17 PM \| 5 Comments: Anonymous commented at 5:35 PM~ The pain of infertility is one I wish no one had to experience. I hope the book brings you comfort, peace and strength. Anonymous commented at 5:36 PM~ Praying that the doctor gives you the go ahead and you can begin in 2 weeks. I hope this will be your last IVF and you will be blessed very soon. Ally commented at 6:44 PM~ I hope the doctor has some reassuring news for you both. Thinking of you and Ivan through this transitional time. I pray you find strength and comfort in each other. Jenn commented at 10:12 AM~ I can't say it any better than Lesley - Liz - I hope your doctor appointment goes well on Thursday and I hope that both you and Ivan find a way to heal. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sporty commented at 11:53 AM~ I am with everyone else Liz, I hope that your appt. goes well and you get the go ahead. I know that the waiting sucks and I am praying for you and Ivan both. Take care. Want to Post a Comment? back to main page
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