When Nature Is Not Enough
    When Nature Is Not Enough

    IVF will hopefully bring us the miracle we are waiting for.
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    About Me

    Name: Liz
    Location: New York

    I'm 37 and have been happily married since Sept. 2002. Ivan is truly my companion in life. Our TTC journey has felt like a never ending roller coaster ride. We had an ectopic PG in Dec. 04 and in April 05 found out my IF is due to tubal abnormality. We were told IVF was our only hope. July 05 we did IVF # 1 and it was a chemical PG. We did IVF # 2 in Oct. 05 and it was a BFN. In Jan. 06 we did a combined fresh and frozen embryo transfer and it was a BFN. We were determined not to give up our dream of having a baby. IVF # 4 was in April 06. The cycle worked like a charm and on December 20, 2006 we were blessed with Hannah and Matthew.

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    Thursday, October 13, 2005

    IVF # 2

    I can't believe 3 months ago I was starting my first IVF cycle. I remember how nervous I was. I look back now and find humor in my anxiety. Today there is no anxiety and unfortunately only a little hope. I'm eager to start the cycle just to start but I'm not feeling too hopeful. I am well aware that this is my defense mechanism in action.

    Ivan is being wonderful about this. He is upset that we have to do another cycle because of what I will have to go through. I tell ya it hurts him more then it hurts me. Can't wait until we start the progesterone injections again...that will be so much fun. He made me put away the syringes so he wouldn't have to see them.

    So my journey continues. I feel stronger but in a way also "cold". I just don't want to feel anything...I'm afraid to. Feeling causes so much pain.

    So how does one start an IVF cycle with no hope of it working...read on and enjoy the ride.


    | posted by Liz at 12:10 AM |


    5 Comments:

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 1:59 AM~  

    I have been a long time lurker and cheerleader for you and wish you nothing but success in this stressful time. I have a feeling this is your month!!

    Blogger Jenna commented at 1:23 PM~  

    Hey Liz,
    I hope that you are able to find hope, I know it is hard and so often hope leads to hurt. I hope that you can put the fear aside and do find some hope. Maybe the cd will be a magic cd, if nothing else I hope it helps you relax and helps you not hate the ride to much.
    I hope that this is the cycle you get your miracle. I am very nervous and excited for you. I hope the injections go well.

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 6:14 PM~  

    No matter how much we tell ourselves "it won't work," deep down we all harbor the hope that it will. When we acknowledge that we have hopes, deep down we harbor a belief that it won't work. There's no winning this one! I've learned that it's no use trying to convince myself of anything, so I just take whatever emotions come along and accept them for what they are.

    Good luck to you this cycle.

    Blogger Jenn commented at 11:28 AM~  

    Liz - just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you! I know you are trying to be pessimistic so I will hold your hope for you!!! Keep us posted!

    Blogger Heather P. commented at 3:28 PM~  

    Liz,
    Carl and I went in with the same attitude towards our 2nd IVF. Well it did work (I also thought when people said this to me - happens for you but not for me) So i do know what you are thinking!! Also after having had a loss like we did even at 24 weeks our "gaurd" is still up.

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