When Nature Is Not Enough
    When Nature Is Not Enough

    IVF will hopefully bring us the miracle we are waiting for.
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    About Me

    Name: Liz
    Location: New York

    I'm 37 and have been happily married since Sept. 2002. Ivan is truly my companion in life. Our TTC journey has felt like a never ending roller coaster ride. We had an ectopic PG in Dec. 04 and in April 05 found out my IF is due to tubal abnormality. We were told IVF was our only hope. July 05 we did IVF # 1 and it was a chemical PG. We did IVF # 2 in Oct. 05 and it was a BFN. In Jan. 06 we did a combined fresh and frozen embryo transfer and it was a BFN. We were determined not to give up our dream of having a baby. IVF # 4 was in April 06. The cycle worked like a charm and on December 20, 2006 we were blessed with Hannah and Matthew.

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    Thursday, January 26, 2006

    Disappointment continues

    Fertilization report:

    12 eggs retrieved
    11 mature and were ICSI'd
    3 fertilized
    1 abnormally
    2 fertilized normally

    2 is what we have to work with. She explained that it appears the egg or sperm have more genetic material then needed and that is why they are not fertilizing.

    They will call tomorrow and let us know how they are fertilizing. Obviously this will be a 3-day transfer unless there are none to transfer. At this point who the hell cares...it's not going to work anyway.

    I am baffled and feel cheated. I just assumed that with ICSI we wouldn't have any problems. I don't know why this has happened again. While I was home yesterday I felt hopeful. That bitch hope has slapped me again.


    | posted by Liz at 10:33 AM |


    14 Comments:

    Blogger Winnifred commented at 10:58 AM~  

    I hate that bitch too these days :(

    And i can't even imagine what you feel right now - i haven't been there... Just know that we'll keep thinking positive thoughts for you - and it might work.

    you only need one... although I'm sure that that expression at this point is probably getting on your nerves.... sorry!

    Blogger MB commented at 11:08 AM~  

    I am so sorry. I wish there was something I coud say that would help, but I know from experience that there isn't.

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 11:28 AM~  

    I'm sorry you're going through this again. I know it's hard to be hopeful. Thinking of you.

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 11:42 AM~  

    I am sorry for the poor report and I know how you feel. I am in my 2WW for my 2nd IVF. 25 egss were retrieved and 16 were mature--we ICSI'd all and only 5 fertilized. I was shocked and devastated--everything I read suggested ICSI should result in 60-80% fertilization!! I was sure there would be nothing left to transfer on day 3 but there were.

    Similarly in my first IVF, 8 eggs were retrieved and only 3 fertilized--and all 3 were put back in (2 of the 3 were excellent quality--one was still only a 4-cell on day 3) but still no BFP. Anyway, this is a bit long-winded but just wanted to let you know I understand what you're going through and I really hope those 2 embryos are strong and hang in there to day 3. Good Luck.

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 12:51 PM~  

    Liz, I am so sorry the fertilization wasn't how you had hoped. I know it's hard but don't give up. Your 2 embies will prove to be very strong. {{HUGS}}

    Blogger jude commented at 12:52 PM~  

    Ugh Liz...I send big comforting hugs to you.

    Now I'm slightly freaking out about my determined optimism about ICSI too.

    ...let's go kick hope's ass...come on everyone...

    Blogger Jenna commented at 7:49 PM~  

    This just sucks!!!!!!! This is crap!!!!!!! I hope that you are doing okay, call me i want to talk to you.

    Blogger zhl commented at 8:21 PM~  

    Damn, I really wish the report had been better. I hope those two grow and grow.

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 9:09 PM~  

    I'm sorry you're feeling bitch slapped by hope. I'm hoping you get good news tomorrow that the 2 are developing well.
    I'm thinking of you.

    Blogger Rebecca commented at 1:22 AM~  

    I am so sorry to hear this news. ((((big hugs))))

    Blogger Ally commented at 10:22 AM~  

    Liz,

    There is still a chance. Don't give up on hope just yet.

    Take care.

    Blogger beagle commented at 12:06 PM~  

    Hope can be so mean. I will be right here cheering those two on though . . . this truly is a crappy roller coaster ride.

    Blogger x commented at 12:40 PM~  

    I am so sorry. Hope sucks but hold onto her a bit longer. I keep reading that more people get pg in worst cycles then in the perfect ones.
    Hang on!!!!

    Blogger Nico commented at 12:52 PM~  

    Argh! I'm so sorry that the fertilization was such a disappointment. I know that you probably can't feel any hope at the moment, but we'll hang on to her for you. *Hoping* that the two that did fertilize will grow nicely and be ready for transfer tomorrow.

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