- Name: Liz
- Location: New York
I'm 37 and have been happily married since Sept. 2002. Ivan is truly my companion in life. Our TTC journey has felt like a never ending roller coaster ride. We had an ectopic PG in Dec. 04 and in April 05 found out my IF is due to tubal abnormality. We were told IVF was our only hope. July 05 we did IVF # 1 and it was a chemical PG. We did IVF # 2 in Oct. 05 and it was a BFN. In Jan. 06 we did a combined fresh and frozen embryo transfer and it was a BFN. We were determined not to give up our dream of having a baby. IVF # 4 was in April 06. The cycle worked like a charm and on December 20, 2006 we were blessed with Hannah and Matthew.
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Wednesday, January 18, 2006
U/S # 2
Follie count for today - 12 follies. They are measuring 7-9 mm. Things are progressing well and I'm not stressed out. I remember the excitement that I had with my first cycle. I sort of wish I had that now. It would be nice to believe that this could work.As I sat in the waiting room, which was longer because I arrived after they had stopped doing b/w and u/s I thought about the future. Would this work? What will be the next step? What is in store for me? When will I give up? That was the worst one. I don't want to give up but sometimes it's hard to keep going. Am I chasing a dream that will never become a reality? Have I missed all the signs that were sent to let me know this wouldn't be. Hope- where are you?
| posted by Liz at 3:38 PM |
13 Comments:
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commented at 4:41 PM~
Hope is a whore.
When to give up? Never. Even when the money is gone and the soul has been battered does an infertile ever really give up, or does she have that flickering ember of a dream that maybe she'll be one of those urban legends who conceived after dropping out of the IF battle...
May your 12 follies keep growing and make beautiful eggs for you. May this cycle be the answer to your dreams. -
commented at 4:52 PM~
12 follies is great! I know how difficult hope can be. I know things are difficult but don't give up...you will have your miracle. -
Ally commented at 5:04 PM~
I am glad things are running smoothly for you Liz. 12 follies is excellent so don't give up!! -
Portlairge commented at 5:28 PM~
Liz, 12 follicles is awesome. I wish and hope(even if she is a bitch) and pray that this is your cycle.
Siobhan -
beagle commented at 5:53 PM~
Cheering those 12 follies on . . . and more importantly . . . cheering YOU on . . . hang in there!! -
Jenna commented at 10:29 PM~
Liz,
I am sorry that you are feeling so down and you feel that there is no hope. I can't imagine what you are going through. Please know that I am here for you in anyway that I can be. I am really praying that this cycle you get your miracle. I tried to call you when I read this but is was 10 there and I thought that Ivan and you would be in bed. I hope we get to talk tomorrow. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Jenna -
commented at 10:42 AM~
Hope can be such a bitch. I know it's hard to be hopeful with all that you have been through. At times hope can be a scary thing.
Glad things are progressing and hoping this will be it for you. -
Nico commented at 11:25 AM~
Sounds like things are progressing really nicely! And even if you can't hold onto Hope, us internets will keep tabs on her for you. -
April commented at 11:44 AM~
12 follicles is fantastic!
We've all wondered at some time about when we're going to hit our "wall" - i.e. when to hang up the cleats and let go.
I'm not ready. I'm not sure I'll ever be ready.
But I hope, no matter where your journey takes you, no matter how long it takes you, that you find peace and comfort in the decision that's right for you. -
commented at 1:25 PM~
Way to go on the follicles, I am so pleased. -
commented at 6:24 PM~
Liz, sorry to hear you are not hopeful...I know how hard and scary it is. You may not have hope but there are lots of us that are hopeful for you.
Hope the cycle continues to go well. -
Jenn commented at 6:44 PM~
I can understand why you don't feel hopeful - but I am happy to hear about the progress those follicles are making. You are on one of the hardest roads imaginable (sp?). I am looking forward to the end of your journey when you are holidng little one. -
commented at 9:02 PM~
Sounds like things are growing along quite well in there - go ovaries, go!
As I wait to get started with IVF, I've spent a lot of time wondering about the when to quit issue.
I'm so very much hoping that this IVF is a success for you and you don't have to worry about it.
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