When Nature Is Not Enough
    When Nature Is Not Enough

    IVF will hopefully bring us the miracle we are waiting for.

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    About Me

    Name: Liz
    Location: New York

    I'm 37 and have been happily married since Sept. 2002. Ivan is truly my companion in life. Our TTC journey has felt like a never ending roller coaster ride. We had an ectopic PG in Dec. 04 and in April 05 found out my IF is due to tubal abnormality. We were told IVF was our only hope. July 05 we did IVF # 1 and it was a chemical PG. We did IVF # 2 in Oct. 05 and it was a BFN. In Jan. 06 we did a combined fresh and frozen embryo transfer and it was a BFN. We were determined not to give up our dream of having a baby. IVF # 4 was in April 06. The cycle worked like a charm and on December 20, 2006 we were blessed with Hannah and Matthew.

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    Wednesday, April 12, 2006

    Let the fun begin

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    Well the cycle has officially started. I stopped Lupron on Monday...thank God. The side effects were horrible this time. I was a royal bitch...very irritable and impatient. The hot flashes were also very uncomfortable. At times I felt as if I was in a sauna. One night it was 35 degrees and I had to have the air conditioner on.

    I went for my baseline monitoring yesterday and started Ganirelex. On Saturday I will start Follistim and on Monday start Luveris. My first monitoring will be on the 22nd. I'm eager to see what the outcome will be. I'm just curious if the change in protocol will improve things. Am I hopeful....NO.

    We spent the day at the zoo with Ivan's niece and nephew. There were times when I just wanted to cry. It was such a reminder of what I don't have. Next Friday the 21st would have been the EDD of IVF #1. As I was walking all I kept thinking was "I should be giving birth next week". I still wish it had been a negative instead of a chemical pregnancy....still feels like a cruel joke.

    I'm still angry and must admit I have a I don't care attitude about everything. It's hard to be happy. I'm drained...physically and emotionally.


    | posted by Liz at 5:50 PM |


    22 Comments:

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 7:04 PM~  

    Liz, so glad you updated! I know how hard all of this is. Those are lots of meds. I can imagine the amount of needles you have. I know it's hard to be optimistic with the EDD approaching and your fears about another disappointment. Try to find something positive to hold on to and remember you have lots of people believing and hoping for you.

    Hugs,
    Andrea

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 9:19 PM~  

    Good to hear from you. Sorry about the side effects, hope they won't be too bad with the stims. I know how hard the EDD is hard. Remember we're here for you.

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 9:45 PM~  

    WOW that's a lot of meds. Hoping the protocol will do the trick.
    Good luck!

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 9:46 PM~  

    Posted before I finished.

    I know next week will be very difficult for you. I'm sorry for your loss.

    Blogger Thalia commented at 3:25 AM~  

    LIz, I'm glad that the cycle is progressing, but sad to hear that you're feeling crummy. I've also kept track of my potential due dates, but I've never got even as close as a chemical, so I think probably I didn't believe in a potential baby as strongly as you have. I do hope that this time is the right time for you.

    Blogger Jenna commented at 9:18 AM~  

    Hey, I am sorry that things are so rough right now, I know EDDs are so hard.

    Blogger Jessigirl commented at 9:41 AM~  

    Wow!! You have been throught the ringer that's for sure, but I still have so much hope for you! I am praying for ya!

    Jess

    Blogger Nico commented at 9:44 AM~  

    I really hope that this cycle finally has the result you've been waiting so long for.

    And I'm so sorry for the loss of your previous pregnancy.

    Blogger Lut C. commented at 4:43 PM~  

    I have no words of wisdom for you. I wish you the best of luck with this cycle.

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 5:44 PM~  

    Oh Liz those EDD are so heart wrenching! It's ok to feel crappy. You don't have any control over those emotions because you aren't really you right now.

    I hope your dreams come true.

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 7:26 PM~  

    I'm sorry about the approaching EDD - they are so hard. It is too hard to be happy when going through so much. I'm really hoping for the best for you with this cycle.

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 12:33 PM~  

    Oh Liz I'm so sorry for all that you are going through. Wish I could make things better for you. I know the EDD will be very difficult. Thinking of you and wishing you well.

    Blogger Sporty commented at 12:35 PM~  

    I'm sorry for all that you have gone through Liz. I hope that this change in protocol will be the miracle that you deserve.

    You and Ivan are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Blogger beagle commented at 1:47 PM~  

    It's such an overwhelming pile, isn't it?? I was not prepared for the sheer quantity when my first shipment of meds arrived. It's kind of symbolic for the whole process. Who can be prepared, really?

    I love my nieces and nephews, but it is so bittersweet sometimes. (Not to mention downright painful).

    I wish you all the luck in the world with THIS IVF. I SO hope that very soon you will be strolling your very own in the zoo (or whereever!).

    Thinking of you as your lost EDD approaches. Wishing you peace.

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 10:49 PM~  

    Glad you updated. I'm sorry things have been so difficult. I know your upcoming EDD will be very hard. Wish I could ease your pain. Wishing you the best with this cycle.

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 10:59 AM~  

    Liz, I know how hard things are. Hoping things will get better. Will be thinking of you on the 21st.

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 12:21 PM~  

    I know how hard the EDD will be. Thinking of you.

    Wishing you the best with this cycle.

    Blogger Ally commented at 12:58 PM~  

    Liz,

    I'm sorry you're going thru such a hard time. I hope this is it for you.

    I will be keeping you in my thoughts for a positive outcome.

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 3:43 PM~  

    Sorry for all that is going on.

    Good luck with the cycle.

    Blogger x commented at 12:12 AM~  

    That is alot of meds. It amazes me how different one protocol is from the next. I am sorry about those side effects. The stims are kicking my ovaries but the supression phase was not to bad.

    Anonymous Anonymous commented at 9:13 PM~  

    Sorry the side effects are causing so much discomfort. Hope it starts subsiding soon. Wishing you the best with your cycle. Hope this protocol and all those meds do the trick.

    Blogger Allie commented at 7:08 PM~  

    i just got my meds too. i'm glad we are cycle buddies again! my EDD from my first IVF was yesterday. and my girlfriend had her baby on friday. so it was a rough weekend. i know what you're feeling. it sucks. but you have so many people praying for you and feeling hopeful for you. so even if you don't feel super strong right now, there's a whole network of women out there who are sending you hugs and prayers to remind you that you are not alone. ps - how did your first day of stims go?

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